Now coming from me, this may seem a little bit hypocritical because I treat every wedding like it’s my own, and I’m not saying that doesn’t have it advantages. Let’s face it, anything you put your heart into it with the purest and highest intention must reap magical rewards. BUT… no matter how good your intention, how much energy and effort you put into it… it is not your wedding! You’re not entitled to anything, other than your payment at the end of a job well done.
You cannot force your ideas on your clients. Yes, you may be offering your advice from a place of experience or from a creative stand point. They may very well be great pieces of advice or creative snippets. You may feel disappointed, dejected or frustrated when the client turns down your ideas….ah my lovelies, suck it up, not your wedding, not your final call!
You need to know when to quit the fight. Put it this way, you may think that your job is to actually plan the wedding. NO! That is where you have gone wrong. It’s your job to make sure the bride feels relaxed and comfortable while she makes decisions about her wedding.
You make suggestions, you present options, you give expert advice and then you back up and let her make HER decisions and feel comfortable doing so. I have had several brides that I have encouraged to use a tent, so that in the event of rain, there is no panic. Despite the logic, many of them have decided to go out on a limb with no tent. As uneasy as I was each and every time one of them made that decision, I still smiled and said, “let’s think positive- it will not rain”! And in the case where it does rain, I say, “rain is a blessing, it is still going to be an amazing day”. The last thing she needs from me is pressure and a big fat “I Told You So!”.
A huge mistake we make ( I am so guilty of this, and I scold myself all the time), is that we tend to spread the budget too thin because we want to give the bride everything she wants to make her happy. I want to give her stuff she doesn’t know she wants, but I know she needs to make the event that much more perfect (in my eyes). But when an “oh shit” moment comes, I’m backed against the wall - no money in sight - running to the ATM to pull out my personal money to ensure that everything is taken care of. Some of you may be like, “awww, what passion, and selflessness”.
Listen to me- ITS DUMB AND ITS STRESSFUL!!! I put myself in a very compromising situation, I have my own expenses to consider, and half the time, the bride doesn’t even notice the extra details that you have gone overboard on because she’s caught up in the excitement of the day. IT IS NOT YOUR WEDDING. THERE IS A BUDGET FOR A REASON. STICK TO THE BUDGET!
Finally, DO NOT TAKE ON THINGS YOU ARE NOT EMPLOYED TO DO! You already have a very stressfully detailed job. Taking on additional details that are outside of your scope of work is just making a very complex job… more complex.
You do not have to figure out how to have the two step-parents in the room with no fighting….not your job.
You do not have to help write the vows, you do not have to fan the bride,
you do not have keep all the bridesmaids’ high heels safe while they dance.
All those things can be designated. OR… we are dealing with adults, adults can be responsible for their shoes.
YOU need to focus on your job and not over extend yourself to the detriment of the job ….BECAUSE ITS NOT YOUR WEDDING!
You cannot force your ideas on your clients. Yes, you may be offering your advice from a place of experience or from a creative stand point. They may very well be great pieces of advice or creative snippets. You may feel disappointed, dejected or frustrated when the client turns down your ideas….ah my lovelies, suck it up, not your wedding, not your final call!
You need to know when to quit the fight. Put it this way, you may think that your job is to actually plan the wedding. NO! That is where you have gone wrong. It’s your job to make sure the bride feels relaxed and comfortable while she makes decisions about her wedding.
You make suggestions, you present options, you give expert advice and then you back up and let her make HER decisions and feel comfortable doing so. I have had several brides that I have encouraged to use a tent, so that in the event of rain, there is no panic. Despite the logic, many of them have decided to go out on a limb with no tent. As uneasy as I was each and every time one of them made that decision, I still smiled and said, “let’s think positive- it will not rain”! And in the case where it does rain, I say, “rain is a blessing, it is still going to be an amazing day”. The last thing she needs from me is pressure and a big fat “I Told You So!”.
A huge mistake we make ( I am so guilty of this, and I scold myself all the time), is that we tend to spread the budget too thin because we want to give the bride everything she wants to make her happy. I want to give her stuff she doesn’t know she wants, but I know she needs to make the event that much more perfect (in my eyes). But when an “oh shit” moment comes, I’m backed against the wall - no money in sight - running to the ATM to pull out my personal money to ensure that everything is taken care of. Some of you may be like, “awww, what passion, and selflessness”.
Listen to me- ITS DUMB AND ITS STRESSFUL!!! I put myself in a very compromising situation, I have my own expenses to consider, and half the time, the bride doesn’t even notice the extra details that you have gone overboard on because she’s caught up in the excitement of the day. IT IS NOT YOUR WEDDING. THERE IS A BUDGET FOR A REASON. STICK TO THE BUDGET!
Finally, DO NOT TAKE ON THINGS YOU ARE NOT EMPLOYED TO DO! You already have a very stressfully detailed job. Taking on additional details that are outside of your scope of work is just making a very complex job… more complex.
You do not have to figure out how to have the two step-parents in the room with no fighting….not your job.
You do not have to help write the vows, you do not have to fan the bride,
you do not have keep all the bridesmaids’ high heels safe while they dance.
All those things can be designated. OR… we are dealing with adults, adults can be responsible for their shoes.
YOU need to focus on your job and not over extend yourself to the detriment of the job ….BECAUSE ITS NOT YOUR WEDDING!
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