Just making sure that if there are any misconceptions, I’m here to set the record straight.
Being your wedding planner does not mean you can message me at 1 am…ever ! I can’t look at this new “pretty picture” you just found on instagram, and I can’t tell you how much for that bouquet or dance floor or whatever else at 1 am. If you don’t get a response from me at 1 am, do not write me back at 1:45 just in case I didn’t see the message at 1 am. If I do not respond at 1:45am do not message my partner at 2:30am to see if she will be more responsive to your needs …We are not planning weddings at 1 am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have office hours just like everyone else. This may come as a shock to you, but I have a life outside of your wedding ! Yes pick your mouth up off the floor, there are things going on in my life that are absolutely not related to your wedding. If you want to talk to me outside of office hours I am more than accommodating, however please note, the life that I was referring to above will be running in the background of our phone call or meeting. So when my kid runs up crying that his booboo needs kissing, or my husband can be over heard asking if that was the last roll of toilet paper, or my son shows up on the screen in the background naked and making funny faces at you, please keep in mind…they are not interrupting our meeting you are in fact interrupting their “mom” time!
So you contacted me a year out, I go through everything with you, give you a quote, do a site visit, talk logistics and then you fall off the map without a word and show up two months before the wedding, rushing me to make adjustments and bookings, wanting to talk and meet everyday and you get frustrated that I’m not as “available” as I was before ….Listen to me ! I have not sat at my computer pining and waiting for you to show up back in my life, for us to hold hands and saunter into your wedding bliss ! Life happened during the year you fell off the map ! I have other clients, other jobs, other obligations that will not halt because you woke up today and realized …”Hot Damn ! I’m getting married in two months, I better get cracking ! ”
Having me as your wedding planner does not make it okay to call me at 5:30 in the morning to tell me that your friend invited you to her baby shower….what should you carry? Or ask me if I know when the season premier of Scandal is….Seriously ?????? No like really….Seriously????????
You contact me and I send you a form... a very detailed form that asked you colours and styles and themes and you can insert photos and venue etc. At the very bottom of that said form ….the very last item….the closing line …..the grand finale of that form is a line that says ….What is your wedding budget? You send me photos of Kim Kardashian’s wedding , mixed with elements of the Royal Wedding, skip answering that wonderful last question, and I take a week or more to cost, identify, locate , discuss, logistically map out all the details required and then send you the costing for the wedding of the century, you ask me if I’ve gone off my meds, that is way out of budget….when I open that particular email from you , what happens behind the scenes in my quiet, serene, tranquil office is…. I scream something expletive whilst grabbing all the papers on my desk, throwing them all up in the air at the same time, I end up convulsing on the floor, foaming at the mouth, eyes rolled to the back of my head and then I pass out !
Another version of the above is when I give you the initial budget, we meet, we chat, you add more stuff you’ve dreamed up, horse and carriage, angels singing the Titanic song and sprinkling fairy dust as you walk up the aisle, champagne served to the guests as they walk up the red carpet aisle to the shuttle that will carry them to the reception while Bruno Mars entertains them live from in the shuttle…you get the drift, I go back to my little cubicle and start prodding away at bringing to life this fabulous wedding that will make all your dreams come true. I hand you the revised budget with the new additions and you look at me with that ” Have you been drinking” expression on your face, and you matter of factly say that , ‘We need to do some budget cuts, this is wayyyy out of your range,”and that I must try to slash the budget down to even more than half of what the initial budget was before Bruno !… Did you know that there is something in your brain that makes a very shrilling zinging noise for about 10 seconds before you go deaf and partially blind in the right eye for about half a day ?… Neither did I, till you said “wayyy out of range.”
Since we are on the topic of budgets…No you cannot have 250 people, clear top tent, lighting, orchids, violinist, limousine, plated menu and champagne for US $2000
Stop making me plan and budget with you all year for 100 people and at the last minute up the numbers to 200 people and expect the budget to remain the same as it was for the 100 people…you are costing me thousands of dollars in Zanax!
No you cannot bring your mom , aunt , uncle , god mother, distant cousin on your father’s side to our initial meeting !
No I do not think exotic dancers opening for your first dance is a “cool” idea.
No I do not think pictures of the bachelor or bachelorette party should go on the slide show for the wedding reception…***facepalm***….***shudder***
In case the contract is not clear, you cannot sue me or get a full refund if it rains on your wedding day. Speaking of weather…if you call me from your hotel room on the day and ask me to look up in the sky and tell you if I think it is going to rain, that does not count as wedding advisement and no I cannot guarantee that I’m accurate and if it does rain you cannot come screaming at me in the middle of the function “You said it wouldn’t rain!!!!!”….wedding planner , not weather person….just so we are clear.
So my beautiful brides, while your wedding day is as important to me as it is to you, and I do feel passionately about the details as you do, and I do oh so much want it to be the most magical day of your entire life , please remember that things like bathing, eating , sleeping are basic human requirements and I am entitled to be able to do those things without having someone being exasperated that they called me 10 times (back to back) and could not get me.
I am here for you, I love you all very much. I love my job, but let us all make a united effort to maintain my sanity and personal well being, at the very least until you say “I Do”.